If you have not yet read Part I of this blog, please click here
- Problems are often temporary – the name of the person who breaks your heart today will be a dim memory at some point. Pain is real at the time and difficult. Don’t isolate. Find a safe person to talk with.
- The bullies at school are often the losers of tomorrow. (And, they’re often in a lot of pain themselves.) When I ran into the father of our neighborhood bully 20 years after the fact (& Bully Bob was terrifying) his father shared he was a rager, alcoholic and abusive to his son. Bullies can create bullies.
- Life skills can be learned. Problems are part of life – they often help us grow and become stronger. If you’re a teen (adult) look for a safe person to talk with – a school counselor, a friend, a pastor or minister or hopefully – your parents.
- Depression and anxiety are very treatable. There’s tons of online help or seek counseling, or your doctor. Medication can be a tool to help you through the darkness.
- Talk to your physician. Medications can get you thru the dark times until your life skills improve.
- Work on happiness. Seems strange that happiness can require work but I found it does. Check out these books or articles: Happiness Now by Robert Holden or 10% Happier by Dan Harris
- Be careful about self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. They can temporarily take the edge off, but don’t solve the underlying problems. For help with addictive concerns go to http://www.addictionmodesto.com
- Breathe, breathe, breathe. I’ve taught anxiety management techniques in my counseling practice for 25 years. For mild to moderate anxiety breathing works wonders.
- Practice Gratitude: Research shows that writing down 3 things you’re grateful for each day increases optimism and resilience. I have found that to be VERY true. Look for little things – it’s a sunny day, someone smiled at me, I had a great cup of coffee.
- Nature –Feeling bla? Take a 15 minute walk, smell the trees, look at the green, the flowers. Nature feeds you – doesn’t take from you like screen time can.
- Limit screen time. We spend a LOT of time looking at screens. Notice how you feel after your screen time – uplifted, happy, or anxious, depressed, not enough. I “screen time” in the mornings, take a brief FB 5 minutes at night and check emails 2x a day.
- Smile – The original anti-depressant & research backed – if you smile (even fake smile) into a mirror for a minute 2X a day it’s as effective as an anti-depressant for some people. And, looking at myself in the mirror makes me laugh…ah… endorphins!
- Hang in there – this too shall pass!
Warning Signs of Suicide
- Talking about wanting to die
- Looking for a way to kill oneself
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
- Acting anxious, agitated, or recklessly
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Withdrawing or feeling isolated
- Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
- Displaying extreme mood swings
What to DO
- Do not leave the person alone
- Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs, or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt
- Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
- Take the person to an emergency room, or seek help from a medical or mental health professional
Please feel free to email or text me 209 505-2675. I’ll point you in direction of help or if you’re in my area perhaps be able to see you myself.
I offer a complimentary 15 minute consult to point you to new solutions. (209) 505-2675 or email me at lynntelfordsahl@gmail.com
