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I can’t tell you how many women I’ve talked with over the last 10 years that have told me some version of “Porn is ruining our…
Modesto, CA
If you have not yet read Part I of this blog, please click here
- Problems are often temporary – the name of the person who breaks your heart today will be a dim memory at some point. Pain is real at the time and difficult. Don’t isolate. Find a safe person to talk with.
- The bullies at school are often the losers of tomorrow. (And, they’re often in a lot of pain themselves.) When I ran into the father of our neighborhood bully 20 years after the fact (& Bully Bob was terrifying) his father shared he was a rager, alcoholic and abusive to his son. Bullies can create bullies.
- Life skills can be learned. Problems are part of life – they often help us grow and become stronger. If you’re a teen (adult) look for a safe person to talk with – a school counselor, a friend, a pastor or minister or hopefully – your parents.
- Depression and anxiety are very treatable. There’s tons of online help or seek counseling, or your doctor. Medication can be a tool to help you through the darkness.
- Talk to your physician. Medications can get you thru the dark times until your life skills improve.
- Work on happiness. Seems strange that happiness can require work but I found it does. Check out these books or articles: Happiness Now by Robert Holden or 10% Happier by Dan Harris
- Be careful about self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. They can temporarily take the edge off, but don’t solve the underlying problems. For help with addictive concerns go to http://www.addictionmodesto.com
- Breathe, breathe, breathe. I’ve taught anxiety management techniques in my counseling practice for 25 years. For mild to moderate anxiety breathing works wonders.
- Practice Gratitude: Research shows that writing down 3 things you’re grateful for each day increases optimism and resilience. I have found that to be VERY true. Look for little things – it’s a sunny day, someone smiled at me, I had a great cup of coffee.
- Nature –Feeling bla? Take a 15 minute walk, smell the trees, look at the green, the flowers. Nature feeds you – doesn’t take from you like screen time can.
- Limit screen time. We spend a LOT of time looking at screens. Notice how you feel after your screen time – uplifted, happy, or anxious, depressed, not enough. I “screen time” in the mornings, take a brief FB 5 minutes at night and check emails 2x a day.
- Smile – The original anti-depressant & research backed – if you smile (even fake smile) into a mirror for a minute 2X a day it’s as effective as an anti-depressant for some people. And, looking at myself in the mirror makes me laugh…ah… endorphins!
- Hang in there – this too shall pass!
Warning Signs of Suicide
- Talking about wanting to die
- Looking for a way to kill oneself
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
- Acting anxious, agitated, or recklessly
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Withdrawing or feeling isolated
- Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
- Displaying extreme mood swings
What to DO
- Do not leave the person alone
- Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs, or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt
- Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
- Take the person to an emergency room, or seek help from a medical or mental health professional
Please feel free to email or text me 209 505-2675. I’ll point you in direction of help or if you’re in my area perhaps be able to see you myself.
I offer a complimentary 15 minute consult to point you to new solutions. (209) 505-2675 or email me at lynntelfordsahl@gmail.com
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
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