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Is it possible to live in a state of JOY every moment of the day? I wish. But, it is possible to have the skills that allow you to more quickly and easily move stress and upset through so happier feelings rise to the surface again.

There’s an old saying that we can’t experience the JOY of life if we block the pain of life.

What we don’t always realize is that the emotional suffering that we go through has a purpose: to help us grow, to develop greater empathy and to most of all better understand ourselves, and each other.

Do you ever feel that stress, anxiety – the pressures of life – to get everything done on your list – do your job, build your business, run the children around, receive a pat on the back from your spouse or a “You need to”, housework – ergh…it ALL seems to be never ending?

 Well, it is in some ways.

Now, imagine sitting on the beach of your choice. Waves are gently rolling into shore, the sound of birds lulls you, and the sun warms your skin. The colors of the sky and ocean and sand are soothing. Feel better?  (Free Guided Imagery download)

We want happiness and peace but LIFE often creates challenges, stress, anxiety and way too much busyness, say I, the busyness Queen.

On top of all the daily life stuff, we have the emotional upsets that add layers of weight to our day.

  • You have a fight with your significant other and feel awful afterwards, stressed, anxious, not connected to yourself or your partner. (You’re sure it’s their fault!)

  • At work, a client yells at you about a project that didn’t get done in a timely way.

  • Your kids are driving you crazy and of course it’s already a challenging day. Why can’t they see Mom is stressed to the max and lighten up? (When we’re stressed that seems to be when kids most act up!)

  • You and your mother disagree about where to hold a family reunion. It ends up in a screaming match. You’re not sure who’s right or how to get past the pain – once again your mom sees you as wrong.

The bla-ness of daily life we can usually distract ourselves from. But, how do we work through the painful feelings that come up with bosses, spouses, friends, FAMILY, so we can get back to feeling more balanced and happier?

That’s the question I have asked myself and sought solutions for the last 25 years. One reason I wrote Intentional JOY – to give those that struggle with addictive concerns (food, alcohol, drugs, work, etc.) tools to get the mind and body working together.

But, I teach these same tools to many that don’t have addictive issues.

While stress, anxiety and challenges are ALL a normal part of life, they don’t feel good.

Here are two guidelines – one quick & easy, the other deeper – that will help you more quickly get back to feeling better.

Guidelines For Mild to Moderate Upset:

1. Conscious BREATHING
I know you’ve heard this one before – but do you do it? When stressed or upset take 10 breaths.
Breathing creates a PAUSE and allows the emotional brain to calm down and your rational, thinking brain to get back on board. (If 10 breaths don’t work, do 20).

When we’re really emotionally upset, the logical, frontal cortex of our rational brain is hijacked by the emotional brain. We need to calm the emotional brain, so that we can think more clearly.

So we are in less pain and so we can think more clearly.

For bigger upsets try The TARA Process.

2. Feel Better More Quickly – The TARA Process
Remember the red and blue pills of The Matrix? If there was a pill you could take to make your emotions disappear would you take it?  I wouldn’t. But, I understand why we might want to – suffering sucks.

Suffering in emotional quicksand, as do we at times, is not fun. Some research says ALL STRESS is emotional!

Imagine you could more quickly and pretty easily move through the emotional ick of the moment.  I use this process for myself often and have taught to hundreds.

The TARA Process (Touch, Accept, Release, Action) works to SHIFT feelings about a situation. Once the emotion is released your thinking brain reloads!

Feelings aren’t monsters that sit inside of us, but if we aren’t used to paying attention to them, they can feel scary.

Go to the TARA link, print out the form and experiment with situations that are causing stress.  If you get stuck, let me know. I do phone as well as in-person sessions.

3. Advanced Emotional Release:
Combining TARA with EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique, a research based tapping technique that follows the acupuncture (no needles – just light finger tapping) meridians or energy patterns of the body where emotions can hide out.

For those of you with addictive issues and childhood trauma this is a fabulous technique. But, I recommend having a trained therapist to make sure there is emotional safety.

We all have a story. I grew up with alcoholic parents and had a number of traumas happen in childhood and my teen years that I spent years in therapy working to resolve. With conscious attention to what’s bugging me and a daily gratitude list, I’m a pretty happy gal.

My mission is to help others NOT spend years in therapy – to learn to love themselves, honor and acknowledge the strengths present and heal the broken places.

Life is precious – all the parts of it. Louise Hay, of Hay Publishing, had a saying:  “Life Loves Me” and I switch it up with and “I Love Life.”

For more specific stress and anxiety management strategies see my book: Intentional JOY: How to Turn Stress, Fear & Addiction into Freedom.

Click here to get a FREE MP3 Download– 20 minute overview of Intentional Joy, including Research Based Stress & Anxiety Reducing Guided Imagery.

Please feel free to email or text me 209 505-2675. I’ll point you in direction of help or if you’re in my area perhaps be able to see you myself.

I offer a complimentary 15 minute consult to point you to new solutions. (209) 505-2675 or email me at

Feel free to use all or part of this blog as long as you list my name, website and contact information.

COVID 19 Stress, Substance Abuse & Relief with Tapping Technique

COVID 19 Stress, Substance Abuse & Relief with Tapping Technique

Is it possible to FEEL BETTER even though the stresses and strains of staying at home, job uncertainty, kids underfoot and spouses…being extra together? Yes. While Tapping Technique won’t change situations, it can help you cope better.  Effective coping is really important. Tapping Technique can help lower the stress/fight/flight response to the uncertainty, forced stay at home and relationship challenges. Lowering stress lowers reactivity and give us more a sense of control/choice over our emotions.

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